joy during the winter
I almost began "I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted!", but in all actuality, I can believe that.
School is the main dish on my plate right now, with large helpings of family and pregnancy as sides. This pregnancy has been very difficult for me emotionally and mentally. I am still trying to embrace the fact that I am pregnant.
Meanwhile, it's turned into winter.
I have been noticing the bare trees, stark against the cold blue skies. I have been feeling depleted in every way, and sometimes feel I am struggling to make it through the day. I cannot help but to look forward to someday leaving this place, though I know that no matter where I live, I will still be who I am, and still struggle with the same things.
Winter is usually a mixture of two things for me: quiet reflection and wonder, and depression. The cold brings both clarity and a longing to withdraw into myself. The snow and empty branches feel both bleak and enlightening.
But there's also the joy. I feel joy when I'm warm in my winter scarf and hat, and crunching through the snow. I feel joy baking lemon scones and drinking tea in the afternoons. I feel joy in giving, and in loving.
What brings you during the winter?