A best friend of mine and her boyfriend came to visit over the weekend. I have had such a hard time since moving here 4 months ago, and they knew I needed cheering up, so they drove on over. It's close to a 10 hour drive, so they took Friday and Monday off for traveling, and graced me and my family with their presence for the entire weekend.
We talked and talked and talked. We played Scrabble and drank an enormous amount of tea. We cooked meals and played with my kids. I didn't take a single picture, but I was trying to drink in every moment as best as I could, because I knew that on Monday morning when they departed, sadness would overcome me again. And it did. Just as my dear friend Natalie is experiencing a difficult season of life, so am I. I am sad more often than not, and I am even angry sometimes. Moving to a new place completely uprooted me. I miss my community of friends and neighbors more than I could have imagined. And if that town weren't so transitory, I might wish to move back.
However I know this season will pass. Something that helps with the grief I feel is to cook. I'm not sure why it feels so soothing. Perhaps because I can completely involve myself in something else for awhile, and forget everything. When my friends left on Monday morning I spent the rest of the day cooking slow foods to ease sadness. I put the black beans in the crockpot and checked them occasionally. I made two loaves of whole wheat bread. I cooked my very first from-scratch chicken stock. I made a big batch of brown rice for the week.
Because my mood had not improved my Tuesday morning, I kept cooking. First thing in the morning, before I had even eaten breakfast, I made two loaves of pumpkin bread. In the afternoon I made black bean soup for later in the week. And for dinner I made chicken and biscuits.
I will keep cooking, and hopefully the grief of so much change will fade away.
How do you ease your sadness?
6 comments:
i totally cook to make myself fell better. it's like i don't think of anything else when i'm cooking.
moving is so hard! i don't know that i would do it again. you've always got your kitchen.
our conversation today made me both so incredibly happy & deeply sad. it reminded me eating cake at your house while talking about stuff that we both really love talking about. those things are so good, but it also reminded me that we can't do those things right now because of the distance, the change, the miles between. still- we have the internet, we have the written word, & the phone to keep connected. praises for modern technology! & for slow food to heal. it is just a season. we must remind ourselves of this. then stuff our faces with cake & call each other through each bite.
love you so much.
When I lived in the old house in Decatur I would garden. There was something about digging my naked hand into the damp earth that was soothing, appealing to the senses, and took the sharp edges off the pain.
The Mister is the chef of our family; my escape is reading. Not dismal stories of wretched childhoods and senseless tragedy, but escapist fare like historical fiction, which transports you to another place and time. The hardest stretch for me is always January through March, so a few good books are especially welcome then. If you can force yourself to get out with the wee ones now and then (despite the germs) it will help them, which will help you. If there are any kid places in town you might meet a mom or two you can get to know. Proceed with caution there, but proceed! Fellow moms are handy to know, though after discovering enough quacks I now focus on making friends for the kids more than finding a momly soulmate.
I eat. :) xox
yeah, i tend to cook too. though i don't really like cooking, i do enjoy the eating part.
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